Look For The Sparkles

We've been going through some pretty challenging things lately. Things that when you first held that wrinkly newborn you would have never imagined. Things that have me thinking about what life will be like 10 years from now and what I could have done differently 10 years ago. Things that make me wonder, honestly, why someone would want to have children. Please don't get me wrong. I love my babies with my entire being, and would never change a thing about them. But sometimes, it is cruel and unusual punishment. I once heard "Having a child is like your heart walking outside of your body". I might also add that it's like your brain going along with your heart. Sometimes, my mind and heart are pulled in 5 different directions. I want what is best, and when I feel I have done that, there's always doubt. The doubt may come from within,or the doubt may come from other people's opinions.

I have started looking for "sparkles". Sometimes the sparkles find me! They are little glimmers of hope. It can happen at anytime, anywhere. It can show up as a new accomplishment, or a glimmer of light that I feared was gone but shows up and makes me smile. Every time I see it, I make a conscious effort to stop in my tracks and Thank God. I feel it's his way of helping me to see that all is not lost. They are not lost. I am not lost.

A new accomplishment.
An unexpected kindness and connection.
A steadfast spirit with a kind word when I might have not been so kind.
A heart for God no matter how the enemy wants that heart to be broken to bits.

And so, I tell myself,

You are doing all you can.
You always will.
You are a good person and you are good enough.

Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. The sparkles prove this.
Look for the sparkles in your life.