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Monday, Zack had the day off from school. Nathan didn't, so I asked Zack if he would like to have breakfast with me. He was THRILLED! So we dropped off Nathan and headed to our local bagel shop.
We grabbed a table, and waited for our food. Immediately, he asked to play a game on my phone. I looked at him and said "seriously? No way! Let's just sit here and enjoy each other's company and talk." He didn't give me a hard time at all, and we started talking about stuff.
As I get up to get our food, I notice a mom and maybe kindergarten age daughter sitting at the table next to us. The little girl was eating her bagel, and the mom? Well, she was tap-tap-tapping away on her phone. She didn't look at her daughter, didn't say one word to her the whole time they were there. That little girl didn't say a word either, just sat there quietly, eating her bagel.
COME ON!!!
I wanted to shake this mom. Is a game, text or whatever you are doing SO IMPORTANT that you would waste this little time you have with your daughter? I felt so terrible for that little girl. And don't tell me that there had to be a reason she was so engrossed in that phone. Nothing is more important than one on one time with your child. Every time I get to have that time (and with four its not easy) I cherish it.
Are we so addicted that we cannot, even for 30 minutes put it down and enjoy who is actually there with us? That we feel we have to plan every second of every day into the future? That we have to fill up our time down to the last second? I think this is a serious problem. We have become so addicted that it's sort of like an induced attention deficit. When we don't have that shiny thing in our hands we feel like we're forgetting something, or we don't know what to do with that brain in our heads. Whoa, think? You mean I actually have to think and use this thing in my head? I actually have to know how to talk to people and not this Siri pretend person?
What do you think that little girl will remember when she thinks of breakfast with her mom? Maybe she won't remember at all!
As for Zack, he thanked me for taking him. When I dropped him off at a friend's house for the afternoon, he didn't want me to leave. I asked him why, and he explained that he enjoyed our time together so much and didn't want it to end. I KNOW he will remember this morning. And his memory will not be of me on the phone.
PLEASE! Put the phones away. Actually communicate with who you are with. Stop running in circles and just......BE.
4 comments:
You are such a wonderful Mom and you captured this to a T!
Too many parents/people are caught up in the electronic here and now that they are missing out on the "live" here and now! Our children grow up so quickly...to miss a moment of that is too much!
I think you're doing a fantastic job! My youngest is 12 and asked me the other day when we were going to have another girls' day, just us, shopping, having lunch together, cooking something, just doing something together. And when she says that, I know she doesn't mean sit there and watch me text. Face to face communications seems to be a dying thing and we need to revive it!
Teri
Snarkfest
ps....Jenn sent me, says to tell you you've been PIMP PIMP PIMPED! :)
Great post, Anne! Also a reminder to ME that I need to put down my phone. I can also be very caught up in the whole electronics thing. Our kids are little for too short a time to not give them all of us! :) Keep posting girlie! <3
This is a great post! I really liked the picture of you and your son.
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